Daily Confessions 24: Confession, Pretending, Risk, Acceptance and Moving On

Confession: I know it’s wrong for what I am feeling right now. He has a boyfriend. He’s a colleague and he’s irresistible! It’s a secret and will remain a secret for as long as I can keep it.

: People around us didn’t notice the way I look at him. Even him didn’t noticed! I guess that’s my strength – I’m very good at pretending. But everything has limits. I don’t know how long I can keep on pretending.

They say that if you want to die your feelings to someone, look at his negativities. It doesn’t work for me. Instead, I love him more and accepted him with arms wide-open (a contradiction to another saying that if you love someone, you’ll accept him for what he and his background is).

: Sharing the thought to someone makes my feelings burn passionately, making me more like him, love him. I know its wrong because we are friends/colleagues and I want us to be that way than lose what we have cause of this. Alcohol makes me stronger and part of me wants to tell him what I feel. Damn it! I was almost at the verge of doing so. Good thing I was still in control.

: I know that we can never be together. I’m closing my doors cause I am sure. I’m naive, I admit. I just don’t fight a fight where I know that I can’t win. Another reason is that I don’t want to change (at least) the way we talk to each other. I’m not a home wrecker. I just want to end this feeling as soon as I can.

Moving On

To You,

I think it’s pretty obvious who am I talking about. I’m writing this not to be sympathized or to change anything we have or to have credits for a good writing. Its for a simple reason of telling you how I feel. I put too much courage on this writing but I don’t have the guts to tell you personally. I’m sorry. If you have read this, let’s just don’t open this topic anymore. Rest assured that I will be ok on this set-up. Please...

To the Readers
(if there are any),

Just let this go. I just don’t want to have any discussions about this as I am on the process of moving on. Thanks for you compliance.


Too many I know’s and I don’t’s... I know I don’t deserve him... Someday, I will meet the right “him”.