Daily Confessions 10: I'm Back

It’s been a while since I last had my Daily Confession. I think I really need one right now…

It’s been a year (or almost) since I started working and I love it. My job taught me too many things that I never thought I would learn in a short period of time.


I got hired on my dream company – yes, it’s true. Two weeks later, I got my project where I’m staying up to now. I was really upset by the expectation from the role assigned to me. It’s a very big shoes to fill in which I don’t know if I can. I’m lack of the required trainings since I only have 2 idle weeks before I got my latest project and my experience doesn’t serves me well. I will still have 1 and half month before I will enter the game and I’m afraid I’m not equipped enough. With the help of the people around me, they made my stay on the project memorable. I took everything one day at a time. Slow but sure. And day by day I never fail to put something on that shoe. It’s true that work-life balance is very important on my line of work – holiday coverage, weekend work sometimes, 12-hour shift and many more that you can’t imagine. I never thought I will get a hang of it but I did up to now. I’m proud to say that I was able to keep up to speed and filling those shoes in was a never a problem anymore.


With great work comes great salary. Earning my own money is such a relief into my family. At least I don’t need to ask my mom for my daily allowance. I can buy things I like. I can eat on any restaurants. And Taste every drink Starbucks has. Accompanied of having enough money to spare is the big responsibility on how to keep and budget expenses until the next pay day come which is really hard. So it’s not everyday that I got a chance to sit and drink at Starbucks or roam around inside a mall and buy everything I like. It’s a matter of choices: you buy that camera today or you’ll die in hungriness tomorrow. Such a bad analogy, lol!

I drink Starbucks coffee but I still drink soft drinks on plastic. I rarely ride taxi on the way to the office but I still ride bus on the way home. I wear new clothes but at the end of the day I’m still on my dirty slippers and my favorite t-shirts with faded designs. I tried too many delicious restaurants but I still cook my own food at home. I bought too many gadgets but I still need a friend to walk and talk to during weekends. I can’t easily get rid of the old me before my standard of living stepped on the next level and I’m not even thinking of getting rid of it. What can I do? I’m only few steps away from my dreams and this is what I want - reality check, what everybody really wants. It’s hurts and guilty was when I heard my colleagues saying (sarcastically or by joke) that I changed a lot and that it shows in my lifestyle now. Yes I am. I don’t want to deny it but instead I’m proud of it. I did changed for my and my family’s welfare but I never forgotten where I came from and that includes them. I just told them that my success on choosing the right path for me will serve as a challenge or inspiration to them to strive and work harder.

I’ll never get used to this… =[

Photoshop Works 4: Another Boring Day

Just another product of my boredom...

Seen in Big Screen 2: Twilight

It’s been five months since it was last shown on the big screen, but this is the only time I have watched it in private – which I prefer rather than in the crowded and dark movie house. No doubt that even I got hooked the first time it was endorsed and advertise over the TV and by countless mouths. My initial plan was to read the whole series (while waiting for the movie to be release in DVD) which I decided to read just the first book. I have the 4 books in an eBook but due to my laziness and reading was not really me, I quitted reading the chapters. Though I have spare times at work to read it but the inner me says, “Stupid! You can’t finish this book!”. I even ask my officemate to provide me copies of audio book so that I can listen to it every now and then without getting my eyes fried over the monitor radiation. But then guess what, I didn’t finish it either! I didn’t even last for an hour because it made me fell asleep faster. Hahahaha!

So much for the reading and listening part. The book was great. No doubt why it sold millions of copies and counting and was soon adapted to movie.

The concept was a Harry Potter-like which aims to target a larger audience – not literary large, knowing me. I‘ve never been a fan of a vampire movie - I don’t even watched Adams family (for Heaven’s Sake) – just now. Watching the video was so entertaining. I never found any of the scenes boring because every scene has a unique impact. It made me watch it thoroughly. If I can, I can watch it without blinking an eye!

I read almost half of the first book. Therefore I will have an (50%) idea how it was differs from the movie. 3 weeks consume me reading the chapter while it consume several minutes on the movie. My God! Every chapter is quite wordy and outside my English vocabulary – well given the fact that I’m not English speaking citizen. The movie runs for 2 hours which in my estimation is too short to be complete. Stepenie Mayer did a great job on writing the book as well in extending it to series. I cannot review this by the book since I’m not a bookworm. Most of my credits will go the movie. What more can I say? I’m a couch potato! Hahahaha!

To evaluate both the book and the movie, it was quite interesting and highly recommended. I’m looking forward on a more interesting, heart-warming, breathe-taking, mouth-watering and exiting sequel.

Photoshop Works 3: Phone Wallpapers

Customizing my own wallpaper is one of my many hobbies. When my office mates saw what I did on my phone's, they got envy and requested to have one.

Below is my wallpaper I created for my phone:

And below are the wallpapers I created for them:

If you want, I can create the same with your name. =]

Photoshop Works 2: Thesis Subject

During my college days, especially when working with the terrifrying Thesis subject - when I experienced sleepless overnights, unlimited deadlines and above-the-head stress level – I never failed myself to have at least one hour to unwind. I took my laptop, transferred pictures from my mobile phone, hit Adobe Photoshop icon and the rest is history. I used my team's pictures shot during the fun and idle times we had though working hard under pressure. Below are some pictures:

It's not us obviously. I just used that image as a template. Image was from a Japanese Anime series entitled "Mirmo". Below is what happened after I apply my personal touch:

Hahaha! Laugh out loud if you want to! =]

Now this one was adopted from a Korean Series, "My Girl". I wasn't able to find the source of the image. Well this one's better than the first I must admit.

Lastly, this one is what I like the most above all. I'm not really sure if this effect is "Color Emphasize" or "Selective Emphasize". This was my first photoshop work where I just use a simple effect and better yet, I feel satisfied and relaxed. I would like to share this image to all the readers just to show them how proud I am with my team for obvious reasons. We really look like a computer shop here. More satisfying and fulfilling was we passed our Thesis subject with flying colors. =]

Series Box 3: Prison Break

It was a story of a brilliant engineer who make himself imprisoned voluntarily just to free his brother who lined in a death row for a crime were he was set up. The story revolves Michael Scofield (the engineer) who will escape the prison using science and logical thinking.

As I read, the show is running on the fourth season and I can't wait to watch it.

What's amazing in the show was the genius Michael use his knowledge on how to get in and out of the prison smoothly. He carefully planned everything. To point some were the tattoo all over his body, the pugnac, the screw... everything! It was so amazing and the reason why it was being watched by so many. They waited for the next move what Michael will do in a certain situation where in there's no turning back. It shows that a brilliant mind is dangerous!

Though the show is so appealing, it is not recommended for young viewers for most of the scenes are for adults only. Not in the manner of XXX contents but the violent scenes. That's why before the show starts there's a "VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!"

I must admit that Prison Break shows some reality points in politics, law and money. It pictures that if you are in politics you can bend the law using you money then let other suffer for your dirty acts. I thought this is just in our country but the way I see it, it was a world epidemic.

Watching the show makes me irritating but excited. Irritating in the way like "Oh my God she's dead!" and "He's late!". They put so much regretting scenes that makes the show undeniably great. Some to points were when Veronica got killed inside the House/Prison of Terrance (the Vice President's brother), when Sarah got killed and her head was cut off (if I know, she'll be in the fourth season), when Susan was interrogated in SONA but she escaped, the million dollar baby money that flows in the river forever and many much more, just mentioning some the registers in my mind.

Technically, it doesn't contain special effects because I believe that they want to preserve the reality that the show is depicting. It was great! I admit it was more entertaining than Heroes, because Heroes was somewhat imaginative while Prison Break is reality.

Seen in Big Screen 1: Kung Fu Panda

I've been dying to see the movie since the first time I laid eyes on the poster. It was March I think when I saw the movie poster while passing down the huge mall spaces. The title already suggested that it will be a Comedy/Action/Animation film. That's all in the poster.

What makes Action is the term "Kung Fu", obviously, i don't have to elaborate on that. What makes it look like Animation is the "Dreamworks Picture" which is I'm not fan of , really. Im a fan of Pixar! It did a great job that it made me watch the movie. And lastly, what makes it Comedy is the image of Panda posing in a Kung Fu. Hahahaha! That's the whole package!

It is a story of a big fan Panda. He is a big fan of Kung Fu. And he's not just a big fan, he is also literary big. I don't wanna have a story-telling here. But it was really funny. It never let my eyes take off the screen, waiting for a more actions. What's more funny is that the actions scene of a Panda and his master (i don't know if he's a Hamster or a rat) fighting for a piece of bun. Another question that leave unanswered is that his father. He's father is a Goose and he a Panda! Hahahaha! So ironic!

Well, I guess you should see the movie. If you already seen it, good. For those who haven't, go to the pirata nearest to you.

Series Box 2: Heroes

The series is currently off the tv screen preparing for the next season though the last season only runs for 11 episodes because of the writer's strike blah... blah... blah...

Its the story of individuals with different powers, well not exactly powers, gifts. This series shows how those individuals use their gifts whether to either good or bad.

At first it was very boring. Because it seems like there's no story at all. They're just showing the cast from there, fr
om here, from everywhere, from past, from future to present which is very irrelevant to each other. But as the story goes on, it becomes crystal clear. It helps to excite the fans I must admit.

Among the original casting from the season 1, the casting adds new heroes which makes the season 2 more exciting. I like Claire Bennet (Hayden Panettiere) because she's the youngest and she represents the young viewers that make the show more appealing because the target audience is not just adults. I also like Peter Petrelli (Milo Ventimiglia) because his role gives direction to the show. I must admit among the other cast, he is the main cast. And the gift he has is also amazing! The writer of heroes did an excellent job!

The most part i like the most is the season 1 finale. It was full of action and the scene is actually unpredictable. So bad that I had to wait another 6 months for the next season to come… just to know if Peter and Nathan survive the explosion, where and what timeline Hiro teleported. It was a lot of cliffhanger! Wah!

Technically speaking, I must salute the special effect specialist for bringing the imagination to reality. It was really the highlights of the show, no not the show, every episode! Some scenes to point were Claire Bennet was declared dead and she was ripped open exposing her ribs and lungs. Another was when Claire and West were sitting in the Hollywood monument and Claire jump off then West (the flying boy) catch her (oooww! so sweet); the scary eyes of Maya and Alenjandro when they exercise their powers; of course, every flying scene of Nathan, Peter and West; the electrifying power of Elle. I just didn't like bloods! Many scenes were shot with so much blood like when Claire falls off the building in their homecoming. When Sylar ripped off the head of another cheerleader and every time he kills his victim. Wah!

It was worth watching Heroes. It made me forget that I'm someone who watches just for the production or how the difficult scenes were shot. It entertains me... so much that I'm still waiting for the next season to come.

Photoshop Works 1: Primer

I've been having a hard time learning the basics of Adobe Photoshop. The tools, the terminologies and the shortcut keys give me a headache. That's why I'm proud to post my very first "Photoshop Work".

Starting from scratch is very challenging. That's why for an amateur like me, I started by editing an image and apply simple effects. Below is the original picture of my college friends and a very short tag line that will describe us:

Random pictures show half of our faces and express a mysterious/normal/stupid look. Since there were 7 silly faces, I decided to match them with the 7 colors of the rainbow. I add a new layer showing each of the colors and then adjust for the best setting of the layer’s opacity to see the below image, and done! Believe me it took me 3 hours for selecting the most suitable for each of the colors. Just that color combination doesn’t suits me well but still I’m able to manage and get a perfect match! Below is the output:

Series Box 1: Smallville

At first, I'm not a fan of Superman. I don't really appreciate him at all ever since I was a kid. I don't watch his movies. I don't buy his action figures or drawings. Well, things change.

A friend introduce me to Smallville. I don't know what the heck is it but instead of refusing the DVD she is giving me, I took it. When I got home, I got a chance to preview the DVD she held to me. Note that it was just one DVD, meaning one season and the series is at it's 5th! When I saw the contents I ask myself how am I be able to watch all seasons to the present to think that each season has 20+ episodes. I said to myself that i should return the disc to my friend and forget it. But before I get the disc from the player, I was curious and click the play button then the first episode runs. My curiosity still runs while it was playing. Why are so many fans are hooked up by this series to I let the episode runs then I was surprised by how the pilot episode was done. The meteor shower was great and I can't help it! Next thing I know, I was already hooked up! Hahahaha!

After a few minutes of running, my mother ask me to switch the TV to the regular TV programming and I'm still hungry for the series. I switch the TV to the regular programming and texted my classmate to bring the other 4 discs tomorrow when we see each other! Hahahaha!

I'm still watching the series in it's 7th season. I don't read a lot in the internet such as the spoilers cause what surprise me in the show were the surprises itself! It was the younger years of Superman, Smallville was its hometown before he moved to Metropolis like what most of the movie nowadays. He is not yet a part of Daily Planet but a friend of his. What makes it different is the cast the play the roles. Perfect choice I can say! The start of the Justice League starts here also, so another answers to my "whys and hows". So many points in the series as lovable like the new apple of the eye of Superman which is Lana Lang. A new character that most of the movies didn't show or shall i say didn't give importance. One thing that I really watch is how the relationship between Lois and Clark develop as the story progress when the character of Lois is definitely the "not liking Clark"! Hahaha!

I struggle very much just to watch the series even though Studio 23 already got the Season 7 Episodes. Well, honestly I only got Smallville Espidoes that time in a pirated CD. So I waited long enough just to get a complete season. Then I learned downloading. Even though one episode is too large, the quality didn't suffer so I stick to that! Hahaha! Now I don't have to buy a pirated CD and yet I'm also advanced in the TV airing! My friend who introduces me to Smallville doesn't have my time to watch the series, she already forget it.

Daily Confessions 9: Things Will Never Be The Same Again

Too many things running in my mind right now...

Today is May 18, the day I come home from a 2 nights 2 days vacation with my classmates. I don't know how I got this feeling, maybe I lack of sleep and tired of long travel. It all started on...


What every students and parents waiting for is the Graduation Day. It’s nothing different to High School Graduation. I didn’t feel something To say that I’m happy or sad or scared or pressured or depressed... (deep breath) everything! It’s because we’re dtill going to see each other tomorrow (for returning of the toga). That's the stupid and lamest part of it! At least we can easily say our goodbyes to each other without drama and teary eyes. Just plain goodbye and all that hugs. Well, compare to High School, it (high school) was more emotional than the latest one. There was this one talk with my mother and my sister, a not so formal after all - just a bunch of jokes and stupid moments. Mom asked me which is happier or more satisfying Graduation Day, High School or College? Then I said, High School (no hard feelings!!!). Because when you graduate from Elementary, you will never feel anything because you still have no idea of what love and friendship is. When you step on High School and establish such relationship, whether a romantic one or not with someone, when you parted ways after graduation, it somehow hurts. It’s because you somehow get attached to some people by that time. It’s like Britney' song - not a girl, not yet a woman. Not young but not too old. You're beginning to explore life and all its possibilities. The romantic relationships that fail and succeed; the long and lasting friendship which is the highlights of every graduation. Hay! The last one is like the last stage of the life cycle of a man. You are mature enough to save the drama on your graduation! So you just simply take some pictures after the ceremony then go home and have some simple celebration with your family. That simple moment is your biggest present to your parents. Naks! I better get ready for our...


The outing serves as our last bonding moments but unfortunately not all the members of the class were present. It was a bit awkward because we are still playing it safe and making it easy for each other to parted ways. I don't know about the others, but that's how I feel. Please excuse my sarcastic words and deep paranoia. In short, everyone is pretending to be happy to hide the depressing truth that starting tomorrow and the next days to come, we will never see each other again just like before. Well were quite successful in that pretending aspect. Congratulations! There’s no one brave soul who express himself while in the outing - maybe not to ruin the spirit of the outing. I expect the emo one in our class to speak out but he prefers to keep his mouth shut. I hate myself the way I spend the vacation. I admit I’m one of the great pretenders. I salute AJ for expressing herself through her tears even though we’re high spirited while the shutter closes. Nobody screams "I will miss you all!". I'm expecting an open forum to happen but that requires enough courage which is not in their bags by that time I assume. Well it went out smooth and fine, rough and slippery (the rocks under the pool), warm and freezing (the food and the temperature), high and low (the mountain and the song).

On our way home, I keep my mouth shut and keep quiet. I don't know! Something’s missing... that’s it? Going home so soon? Although there were too many things happen on the outing. Too many memories but it will remain memories, it’s just how they were. I’m just irritated when we parted ways that day, no emotions running high just a simple "Bye! Take Care!". What the? It’s so sad and frustrating that they still keep on pretending. Do they know that we will never see each other again starting tomorrow? We can still though things will never be the same again...

Sorry… That's how I value you, the feelings and the memories I have for you guys and you all care about are the stupid pictures. You didn't care about me. Well, I got used to it. So stay the way you are, I don want to change things between us as they were.

Daily Confessions 8: The Tragedy


Riding patoks is one of the reason I am proud to say I am a PUPIAN. It’s just one. I still have many more reasons.

I’m moving on… no, I already moved on… so will you?

It’s hard to remember every little detail of what happened. Actually, I already moved on the moment I close my eyes that night after I was released. The hardest thing is that the people involved in the tragedy and those who are interested in knowing the details are the one’s who make it hard for me to moved on. Every time that we talked about it, I keep myself silent and quiet than making myself the bida in the conversation. What hurts is that the details I didn’t saw that night is what remains in my mind and its hard. I just smile. Yes, they’re just making it a laughing stuff or joke but still I can’t accept it. The fact that I am the one who is more injured among the 4 of us. So the topic is almost all in me. I hope this thing will be finished. Soon…

This is what happened…for the last time… I’m so tired of repetition!

I had enough of this. It’s very hard to remember the details, but I will try my best to remember some.

We are riding in this jeep. Tungaw is the name of the jeepney. It is famous even in youtube. We are not looking for a good time that night but the mere fact is we really want to go home early. It was 8:30pm when we find ourselves walking towards 7-11 to recharge. But that won’t make long because we are really tired. After leaving the store, we cross the street and we saw this jeep and the worst thing is that it was so full. So full that we cant sit anymore. I insisted that we should look for another jeep but the three insisted that we should ride because the barker said we still can fit. Luckily, one passenger left, and there’s a chance of riding. I was at the bangketa leaving the three. I was surprised when I looked at them! They’re riding the jeepney! I don’t know what to do anymore because they already inside looking for a space. I don’t wanna left behind so, I follow them. It was dark, surprisingly we still manage to sit the four of us. The funny thing is that 1 seat equals to 4 seats. That’s how patoks are.

So the jeep starts running. Everybody is so excited. As we reach SM Cpoint, the trapped in a traffic which is very normal to this place because of the traffic light. As the traffic light says go, the adrenalin rush start to rise. We are running in about 60kph or higher I don’t know. I’m not a licensed driver! Just like a normal patok the terms was falong-falo. As is super palong-palo! It was long enough for the jeep to bank. If you are a regular patok passenger, you will know that it was too much than the regular time and the driver was not hitting the breaks yet. So I start to wonder. It’s just seconds. Everything happens in a flash. Were still running at the same speed but this time, it stop on banking. Then we stop in just less than a second. The engine stops! I’m clueless on what was happened. I really want to laugh that time coz it was an experience riding patok. I found myself stuck up with other passengers stuck all over me too. I can’t move! Then I felt something liquid running down my head to my left shoulder. I never know what it was. Then I heard someone says bez, bezm d ko kayaa!!. She was moaning. More of a hurt. Another say, baba dali! Baba!. By that time I realized that what happened was no joke. So I followed the passengers in leaving the vehicle. That liquid still running down to my shoulder and I don’t care! I assume that it was blood from friend in my left so I remain cool. Coz I don’t feel any pain from my body.

When Im already out, I saw my friend mheanne lying in the sidewalk. Complaining about her back and stomach ache. I was so worried that my mother will saw the blood stains in my shirt when I get home so I ask Kirby if I can borrow to him some shirt before I go home. Just to cover what happened. Then Jc saw my head full of blood. And I said that it was from the head where my head hits and I’m ok. Just give me handkerchief to clean up. Then jc insisted to inspect if my head has no injured just to make sure. So he look curiously in my head, finding if the source of blood is really mine. He didn’t find anything so I remain cool.

Then we move to a very bright place of the sidewalk. I was surprised that where we had landed was the UERM hospital. From there I saw the jeepney that crushed in a post. I can’t believe that I’m riding that vehicle and I was lucky that I was alive.

Then a kid approach me asking if he has a wound in his head too coz he saw my condition and asking for help. To we moved to a where the light is to see his head clearly. I saw that there was a little opening in his head! And OMG! I screamed out and look for jc to look again in my head. So he look again and finally, he saw a little opening in my head where the blood coming from. I was shocked and I had no choice to run to the UERM ER. I’m with jc and I ask him to buy alcohol. So he left me running to the ER. So funny of mine to ask him to buy such thing! Haha! I left the other two there, Mheanne and Kirby, when I look back, I saw Kirby carrying mheanne in his hands, running towards me! Haha! Bionic! Then we all send to the ER and apply some first aids.

Some of the victims were there also. And I don’t want to describe their situations.

I’m so hesitant to call my parents at home to pick me up. I’m thinking of paying my own hospital bills all by myself. But Kirby insisted to make a call at home. I was afraid that my mom is gonna kill me of what was happened, but still I called them.

While I was on the phone, I said to my mom that I’m really ok and I need them to pick me up here at hospital. I was very ok and I told them that I can still throw them a joke. Hehehe!

The doctor said that I’m really ok because I’m very noisy in the ER. They give me three stitches in my head. I don’t wanna discuss the details while the operation was going on coz it was so gross! All I know is that they shave my hair, inject some anesthetic and I don’t know what’s next.

Kirby also text some of our classmates living nearby and ask them to drop by. I was so overwhelmed that night when I saw Ja who is my enemy that time and I decided that night to make it up to him. So I text him after they left. Ok enough!

I was released around 1am with my mom and dad. They came around 12am!
Mheanne was released around 12:30 am and was sent to New Era hospital because of his demanding father.
Jc also bring the alcohol I ask him to buy! Silly kid! I ask him to go home around 12am coz it too late.
Kirby join me inside and I join me after I released.

So that’s it. I don’t wanna hear anymore details. If you want to know the details, just ride patok named tungaw.

I am recovering now. My stitches was removed, my hair is growing. Day by day, the physical mark of what had happened was covered little by little but my memory still refreshes every detail of what had happened whenever I’m riding a public vehicle. So sad! :’(