Daily Confessions 10: I'm Back

It’s been a while since I last had my Daily Confession. I think I really need one right now…

It’s been a year (or almost) since I started working and I love it. My job taught me too many things that I never thought I would learn in a short period of time.


I got hired on my dream company – yes, it’s true. Two weeks later, I got my project where I’m staying up to now. I was really upset by the expectation from the role assigned to me. It’s a very big shoes to fill in which I don’t know if I can. I’m lack of the required trainings since I only have 2 idle weeks before I got my latest project and my experience doesn’t serves me well. I will still have 1 and half month before I will enter the game and I’m afraid I’m not equipped enough. With the help of the people around me, they made my stay on the project memorable. I took everything one day at a time. Slow but sure. And day by day I never fail to put something on that shoe. It’s true that work-life balance is very important on my line of work – holiday coverage, weekend work sometimes, 12-hour shift and many more that you can’t imagine. I never thought I will get a hang of it but I did up to now. I’m proud to say that I was able to keep up to speed and filling those shoes in was a never a problem anymore.


With great work comes great salary. Earning my own money is such a relief into my family. At least I don’t need to ask my mom for my daily allowance. I can buy things I like. I can eat on any restaurants. And Taste every drink Starbucks has. Accompanied of having enough money to spare is the big responsibility on how to keep and budget expenses until the next pay day come which is really hard. So it’s not everyday that I got a chance to sit and drink at Starbucks or roam around inside a mall and buy everything I like. It’s a matter of choices: you buy that camera today or you’ll die in hungriness tomorrow. Such a bad analogy, lol!

I drink Starbucks coffee but I still drink soft drinks on plastic. I rarely ride taxi on the way to the office but I still ride bus on the way home. I wear new clothes but at the end of the day I’m still on my dirty slippers and my favorite t-shirts with faded designs. I tried too many delicious restaurants but I still cook my own food at home. I bought too many gadgets but I still need a friend to walk and talk to during weekends. I can’t easily get rid of the old me before my standard of living stepped on the next level and I’m not even thinking of getting rid of it. What can I do? I’m only few steps away from my dreams and this is what I want - reality check, what everybody really wants. It’s hurts and guilty was when I heard my colleagues saying (sarcastically or by joke) that I changed a lot and that it shows in my lifestyle now. Yes I am. I don’t want to deny it but instead I’m proud of it. I did changed for my and my family’s welfare but I never forgotten where I came from and that includes them. I just told them that my success on choosing the right path for me will serve as a challenge or inspiration to them to strive and work harder.

I’ll never get used to this… =[